Wednesday, September 8, 2010

I'll take "Sad and Miserable" for $400 please, Alex.

I'm judging you: Girls who bring their boyfriends shopping

There's no beating around the bush with this one. It hurts me inside to see girls shopping and dragging their boyfriends along. Part of me feels bad for the guy for being in the situation, and part of me is laughing at him for letting himself get in the situation. As far as I can tell, there is no good outcome of a couple's shopping trip. If the guy declines to go in the first place, he doesn't like spending time with his girlfriend. If he gives feedback when prompted, he will most likely say something that comes out wrong and becomes offensive to the girl. If he goes but declines to comment, then he doesn't care about the girl. Lastly, if he goes and is helping pick out outfits, then... let's just say that couple needs to have a somewhat more serious chat.

A while ago, I was at Forever 21 with my roommates on a random shopping trip. I was giving superb advice to them as they were picking out clothes, as can be seen here:



Classy? Of course. I'm available for fashion consulting by appointment only.

Anyway, I was astounded at the number of guys who were in the store with their girlfriends, lumbering two or three steps behind them, looking miserable. I know they couldn't have been there in the same capacity I was, because I was enjoying playing pretend dress up with the roomies, and these other guys looked like they were seconds away from running to the nearest hardware store to grab their nuts (… and bolts) and regain some masculinity. If anything, listen to what I say because not doing so will result in your life being narrated by the following re-worked Destiny's Child lyrics:

Ladies, leave your man at home.
The [mall] is full of [shoppers] and their [judgement's] full [blown].
And all you fellas [send] your girl with her friends.
'Cause [you can't hide your feelings] and [yo' ass is trippin' trippin']

2 comments:

  1. I've definitely helped girls pick out clothes before. What does that say about me?

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  2. Haha, well... if you're saying "yay" or "nay" when she shows you something she likes or tries things on, that's one thing. If you're skipping into the store before her and grabbing things you think she'd look good in, and your reasons are on the following list, there might be some problems:
    *This color is "in" this season
    *The vertical stripes are slimming (if she's comfortable with you saying something like this to her in the first place, you're probably just in the "friend zone" already anyway)
    *I saw [female celebrity] wearing this!
    *This would look cute with [insert at least two specific articles of clothing that she already owns, including cut and color]
    *The neutral colors in this would go with everything, including [picks out three different, color-coordinated accessories]

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