When Hairy met Sally. She's a hair stylist.

I’m Judging You: Men with Long Hair.

Fact: Really long hair looks good on no one. Even Rapunzel would agree with me on that one. Once hair gets past a certain point, it just looks gross. I’ll change my tune on that when I see someone with well-kept hair that goes down to the small of his/her back.

EDIT: This was brought to my attention recently, and only further proves my point.

On guys, though, anything past shoulder-length is just wrong. Even shoulder-length is pushing it, but I didn’t have another good reference point for length that was shorter than that but didn’t involve the term “buzzed.” Long hair takes a lot more effort to maintain, and I can count the number of men in the world who have that sort of patience for taking care of their hair on no hands. Find a celebrity that you think looks good with long hair, and I will give you an example of a time when he had shorter hair and looked much better. Case in point? Brad Pitt (Interview with a Vampire vs. Ocean’s Eleven). So, gents, do yourself a favor and get your hair cut. Or join a Renaissance fair. Your choice.

As per usual, I should note my biases on the subject. When I was younger (11 or so), I attempted to grow out my hair so that I could be more like Hanson. This was around the time that I really wanted to be a famous singer, and I thought I sounded somewhat like them (well, I attempted to… puberty soon hit, though, and my falsetto could only carry me so far). Unfortunately, I soon realized a few things. First, having hair long enough to cover the top of my ears annoys the hell out of me. Second, my thick, wavy hair gives me a fro that Lenny Kravitz would enjoy. Thus ended my dream of being like Hanson. At least I jumped the track early, before I attempted to marry a girl and have a kid before my 20th birthday…