Another Hairy Situation

So, it’s been a while since my last post. I am totally judging myself for that, and don’t blame you if you are judging me as well. I’m not gonna make any excuses, but rather make sure that I don’t go through any dry spells like that again. Unless I get abducted by aliens, in which case it might be a while until my next post (but you can be sure that I’ll be judging the hell out of those aliens the entire time I’m in their captivity. I hope for their sakes that they have a good grip on English grammar).

Without further adieu…

I went to the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear on October 30^th. Actually, I went to DC to visit my friend, and the best weekend for both of us happened to be the weekend of the rally, so I got to do both. If I had been more proactive, I would’ve taken “judging notes” on the people who were there. There were so many things that I had to stop and stare at, but this is one of my favorite judging moments from that day.

As those who have been reading my blog since the start know, I have a thing against guys who have long hair. It just doesn’t look good. Due to my strong opinions on the subject, it seems like it’s second nature for me to locate long-haired dudes (this may be why my default mien looks like half a scowl… don’t wanna give these guys the wrong impression or false hope that I’m checking them out for any reason other than to judge them!). At the rally, I didn’t have to look very far. Ten feet away from me were two guys with long, greasy hair. One had a black cowboy hat on, and the other had his hair in a ponytail. Gross.

Oh, but it gets better.

In this clique of individuals who desperately needed the intervention of a good mediocre living hairstylist were two or three girls with pigtails. Yes, pigtails. Readers, girls in pigtails stopped being “cute” at the age of seven* (I was going to say five, but I’ll give you all two years of wiggle room).  What made these girls especially entertaining was that their hair wasn’t that long, so I guess it would be more accurate to call their hair-do’s (er, hair-don’ts) “pig stubs.” All that it said to me was “we’re too lazy to come up with a hairstyle that looks good, but we don’t want to leave our hair down, so we’re just going to look ridiculous.” I appreciate you ladies looking out for my entertainment, but seriously, your hair combined with your trenchcoats (yes, trenchcoats)… it was a hot mess. I guess they at least gave me a distraction from the guys with the long hair?

In conclusion, the rally did its job. It restored my belief that I am sane and my fear of those with no sense of style when it comes to hair.

*- I should mention that, like with most judgments, there are always exceptions to the rule**. Some girls know how to work pigtails. These ladies did not.
**- There are no exceptions to the "guys shouldn't have long hair" rule.