Why, Rudolph! What Magnetic Skin You Have!

Every year, people like to complain about how early Christmas stuff gets put up and/or sold. Unfortunately, stores like The Christmas Tree Shop exist, and they sell holiday crap every day of the year. My personal peeve is the Christmas Countdown movie specials all over TV. The movies themselves aren't the problem, it's the advertising that goes into it. For the past few years, ABC Family has had a countdown to the start of their Christmas season, which itself is a countdown to Christmas. What we have here is a countdown to a countdown.

Mmm... nothing like beating a dead horse!

I'm in no way a Scrooge. I enjoy holiday music, I live off of holiday goodies, and I love holiday movies (are you really gonna sit there and pretend that you aren't a fan of Love Actually? Because you need to stop reading my blog if you are). I just think that the commercializing of the holiday is a bit out of control, and some people need to take a chill pill.

This brings me to the heart of today's blog post: Cars with reindeer antlers and rudolph noses. It was (maybe) cute the first time I saw it... five years ago. As I've said before, I already assume everyone else on the road is going to, wittingly or not, attempt to kill me while driving. Now, I see that the idiot next to me has ANTLERS on his car? It's a huge fail on so many levels.

You no longer get any courtesy on the road. You need to get into my lane? Feel free to find a spot behind me. You're trying to yell at me from your car because you think I did something stupid? Clearly you haven't looked in a mirror. You're sitting in the parking lot with your turn signal on, waiting for my parking space? I think I need to stay here and rock out to the next song that comes on the radio. (Woooo! Yes! I love... Michael Bolton? DAMMIT. *changes station* Ah, Ke$ha... that's better!)
There are a number of holiday "traditions" that I could do without. Fruit cake is one of them. Reindeer antlers on cars is another.

Looking For An Ego Boost In All The Wrong Places

I recently (read: three days ago) received Karaoke Revolution: Glee as a gift. I’ve always been a fan of video games that incorporate singing (like Rock Band), but I’ve never owned one myself.  So, naturally, I did what any excited twenty-something would do… I waited for my family to leave for New York and started trying it out when I had the house to myself. For whatever reason, I can perform on stage without a problem, but singing in front of a handful of people is an issue. Go figure.

Now, I’ve been listening to the music from Glee for quite a while… I was a little over-zealous when the first two CDs came out, and bought them both on the days they were released, and both then became staples in my car CD player. On top of that, I knew most of those songs from hearing the originals on the radio (yes, any random readers I get who were born after 1990… songs on Glee were real songs first!). Because of both these facts, I figured the game should be a piece of cake. I turned it on to a random song, which just so happened to be the biggest, most downplayed song the show ever did, “And I’m Telling You I’m Not Going.”

Yes, I have my diva moments. Moving on.

Here’s how I thought I was doing:

In actuality, this is what happened:

Luckily I kept my composure better than this girl, and finished the song. The way this karaoke deal works is that there are the notes you sing, and those notes are broken up into phrases. To do well, you need to get a certain number of notes correct per phrase. You get scores on accuracy (percentage of correct notes) and phrases (how many phrases you “completed”). While I had hit 85% of the notes, I had only completed 30 of the 69 (tee hee) phrases. Both of these, in my very humble and unbiased opinion, were just not true. So I decided to try an experiment.

I sang the entire song on “ooo.” I thought of that at one point in the song, when I was holding a particularly long “me” that the game said wasn’t even near the correct pitch. I changed to an “ooo” while holding the same note (which, yes, means I had to "meow" while singing), and I was magically correct!

The result of my experiment? 96% accuracy, 65/69 (... tee hee) phrases.

My conclusion? Ghosts would do very well with this game. Also, I’m too much talent for Karaoke Revolution: Glee to handle. And, really, isn’t that what the game, like the hokey pokey, is what it’s all about?

Covers: The Best and The Worst, At the SAME TIME!!

YouTube is awesome for so, so many reasons. Aside from all the goofy videos, you can listen to all the songs you normally hear on the radio, and other songs by those artists. This is one that I've been listening to recently:



Grace Potter and the Nocturnals is a personal favorite. (Vermont pride!) I highly recommend you check them out... they're on the rise!

Obviously I'm not just writing to plug one of my favorite bands. My absolute favorite part of YouTube is the fact that anyone can upload their own covers of great songs, such as this one, pretty much turning YouTube into the Promised Land of Judgement for someone with strong opinions about music, like myself. Here are two extreme examples:

This video is an example of a great cover. The girl who posted it learned the song and has the skills to warrant posting a video. Videos like this are appreciated because they show that there are plenty of talented individuals in the world who could probably blow the likes of Miley Cyrus and Nickelback out of the water.

This video is the exact opposite. The girl doesn't know half the lyrics and she has a... lovely (and unexpected) key change near the end (around 1:50). Seriously, I've never opened my eyes so widely in horror while listening to a YouTube performance as I did while hearing her attempt to squeak in this rendition. I'll give her a B for effort, though, because she's clearly into it, but not enough to make me want to listen ever ever ever again.

If it's on Facebook, it MUST be true!

Judging Rant: Facebook "Activism"

Let's be honest, Facebook is the worst. If it didn't serve as a great catching up/procrastination tool, I would get rid of my account. Still, I'm on there and get to witness things like last week's Child Abuse Awareness campaign, where people put up pictures of their favorite cartoon from when they were kids in order to raise awareness of child abuse. This raises multiple questions in my mind:

1. To whom are you trying to raise awareness? What exactly is the message? That you yourself are aware that child abuse exists?

2. What do you hope to accomplish by raising said awareness? Suppose that this campaign reached every person with a Facebook account. Would the creator say "Yaaaay! Everyone knows that child abuse exists!" and then call it a day?

3. Why did I not see a single Rugrats character?

I saw the term "Slacktivism" today on a blog I subscribe to, and there really isn't a better way to describe what this is. It would be like some old guy having a heart attack in the mall, and instead of helping him, everyone pulls out their phones and changes their Facebook profile pictures to their favorite picture of a heart to show solidarity with the dying man. Nowadays, awareness is really the last thing that these larger issues need. Do you actually want to make a difference? Donate money to a non-profit doing real work in this area, or go and volunteer with a local group. GET OFF FACEBOOK AND DO SOMETHING REAL.

A Silent "Hello"

A Moment in Judgement

It's difficult coming up with blanket topics to make judgements on as often as I want to post on here (thinking makes me tired...), so I thought I'd try a new segment called "A Moment in Judgement." It's nothing elaborate, just a quick story. Hopefully this'll allow me to post more often and not stare at a blank screen with writer's block.

Side Note: I've decided I need to live blog an awards show. Get excited.

The story: I've developed the habit of smiling and nodding at passersby when I'm walking around. It seems like the nice thing to do once you've made eye contact with someone. A quick smile, a nod, maybe a quiet "hey" if I'm feeling generous. Everyone has some mechanism like this for when they pass by strangers. More outgoing people might give a full-out "Good morning, how are you?" only expecting a response about 50% of the time. More introverted individuals might quickly divert their gaze or stare at the ground. That three second window of opportunity for a social exchange can tell you a lot about a person.

A few weeks ago, I was at work, walking down a hall by myself, and I happened across an older man walking in the other direction. When we got close enough, I gave him a smile and a nod. In exhange, I got a smile, followed by him mouthing a full conversation starter to me. I think what was "said" was "Why hello there! How are you?" I really can't categorize this greeting... it's a combination of introvert and extrovert. I decided to just give him an "A" for effort and keep moving.

Courtesy: A Novel Concept

Last weekend, yours truly was in Boston to visit a friend and have a general weekend of shenanigans.  It was highly successful!  Boston was a fun place, but you know me… I judge everything. Luckily my type of judging doesn’t fall under the “bitch, please” umbrella that most people equate with the craft, where the judging individual comes off as catty or constantly annoyed. My judging is more of a “you’re not a real person, what are you doing with your life?” which I think is more for entertainment purposes and makes for much better blog entries.

You know what else makes for better blog entries? Me cutting myself off before I start rambling senselessly.

This was my first time in Boston, and I’ve always heard about how Bostonians are unnecessarily rude. Vermont, where I lived for 12 years, didn’t have that issue (when your state manufactures Ben & Jerry’s, it’s difficult to be mean), and now that I live in the South, “mean” isn’t a term in my arsenal for describing people. Still, I got the chance to witness some random displays of aggressiveness, and I thought I’d share.

First, my friend and I were walking to the metro after a fantastic Italian dinner. We got to a street near whatever the rink is called where the Boston Bruins play (no, I’m not going to go research what it’s called, and yes, I’m being lazy), and are crossing the street while the little walking man is up on the crosswalk sign. In order to paint a better picture, I drew a picture. I did it in Paint, though, so for all intents and purposes I literally am attempting to Paint a better picture:

So the car decides that he wants to go right on red. We couldn’t care less because we were just starting to cross the street. Still, the driver decides that, for the entirety of the turn, he’s going to flip us off while making eye contact. Really, dude? It would have made my night if the area had been busy and he hit the person in front of him while flipping us off.

Next fun story happened later that night. We went to a bar with a 30 dollar gift certificate and two other friends. We got enough beer to (according to the bartender) use up the entire certificate, and then close out. Our bill is for a little less than 10 dollars (because the bartender didn’t tell us how much each beer actually was, and apparently she’s terrible at math… which will become apparent again soon). So we give the bartender a 20, and she gives us back 9 bucks. We count the money, stare at each other, finish up our current conversation, and then get our stuff from under the bar in order to leave. Then the following conversation happens:

Bartender: Excuse me, you need to leave me a tip.

*blank stares and silence from the four of us*

Brett: You didn’t give us all of our change back. You don’t get a tip.

Bartender: *indignant* I didn’t?!? I most certainly did!

Victoria: I’m sorry, we’re not giving you a tip because you didn’t give us our change and you’ve been sort of a b**** to us all night.

Bartender: Oh, I’VE been a b****? You’re sitting here telling me that I’ve been bad, and you’re about to leave without giving me a tip?

*at this point, Victoria and I walk away while Brett and our other friend have more choice words with the bartender*

I’ve never been told by a bartender that I HAVE to leave a tip. That’s a new one! And while I appreciate the fact that most food/drink service people work for tips, flat out saying that you need to leave a tip after giving shoddy service is a HUGE no-no.

Yes, those are two of my rude people stories. The taxi services could get their own entry… they actually deny passengers if they’re going somewhere that the taxi driver doesn’t feel like going, and they honk way too much. It was too aggressive up there for me, and I’m glad to be back down in the sweet, slow South, getting fat on sweet tea and fried chicken (read: Bojangle’s) and soaking in the southern hospitality.

Another Hairy Situation

So, it’s been a while since my last post. I am totally judging myself for that, and don’t blame you if you are judging me as well. I’m not gonna make any excuses, but rather make sure that I don’t go through any dry spells like that again. Unless I get abducted by aliens, in which case it might be a while until my next post (but you can be sure that I’ll be judging the hell out of those aliens the entire time I’m in their captivity. I hope for their sakes that they have a good grip on English grammar).

Without further adieu…

I went to the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear on October 30^th. Actually, I went to DC to visit my friend, and the best weekend for both of us happened to be the weekend of the rally, so I got to do both. If I had been more proactive, I would’ve taken “judging notes” on the people who were there. There were so many things that I had to stop and stare at, but this is one of my favorite judging moments from that day.

As those who have been reading my blog since the start know, I have a thing against guys who have long hair. It just doesn’t look good. Due to my strong opinions on the subject, it seems like it’s second nature for me to locate long-haired dudes (this may be why my default mien looks like half a scowl… don’t wanna give these guys the wrong impression or false hope that I’m checking them out for any reason other than to judge them!). At the rally, I didn’t have to look very far. Ten feet away from me were two guys with long, greasy hair. One had a black cowboy hat on, and the other had his hair in a ponytail. Gross.

Oh, but it gets better.

In this clique of individuals who desperately needed the intervention of a good mediocre living hairstylist were two or three girls with pigtails. Yes, pigtails. Readers, girls in pigtails stopped being “cute” at the age of seven* (I was going to say five, but I’ll give you all two years of wiggle room).  What made these girls especially entertaining was that their hair wasn’t that long, so I guess it would be more accurate to call their hair-do’s (er, hair-don’ts) “pig stubs.” All that it said to me was “we’re too lazy to come up with a hairstyle that looks good, but we don’t want to leave our hair down, so we’re just going to look ridiculous.” I appreciate you ladies looking out for my entertainment, but seriously, your hair combined with your trenchcoats (yes, trenchcoats)… it was a hot mess. I guess they at least gave me a distraction from the guys with the long hair?

In conclusion, the rally did its job. It restored my belief that I am sane and my fear of those with no sense of style when it comes to hair.

*- I should mention that, like with most judgments, there are always exceptions to the rule**. Some girls know how to work pigtails. These ladies did not.
**- There are no exceptions to the "guys shouldn't have long hair" rule.