This Post Really Socks

Oh, hello there!

It's been a long time. Shouldn't have left you (left you... Without a dope beat to step to).

You'd think that in my hiatus from writing, I'd have so much to tell you! Unfortunately, aside from a rant about incompetent Wal-Mart employees (blog post coming soon), I don't have many situational posts forthcoming. I guess I need to get out more!

For today, though, here's the first installment of TJL's Clothing Etiquette. This one is all about socks, more specifically how annoying white socks are.

I'll start off by saying that, contrary to what you might believe, you are not Michael Jackson, so any argument you have for wearing white socks with dress shoes (or any shoes that aren't athletic sneakers) is invalid. Here's a re-iteration of that point, in Venn diagram form!



The glimmer of a white sock is as bad for my vision as the blinding effects of the high beams that the idiots who always seem to drive behind me leave on at all times. It's just unnecessary. I appreciate the perceived versatility of white socks, but to me that's like saying salt is an acceptable flavoring agent for any and all food. Sure, it works, but there are so many other spices that you can use in certain dishes that will make them much better. You're also less likely to get weird looks.

Here's what you do:
1. Go to ANY store that sells socks.
2. Buy a few pairs each of socks that either match your shoes, or at least have similar colors in them.
3. Wear said socks when the time is appropriate.

If you're feeling REALLY creative, you can always purchase multicolored socks, or sock with patterns. Socks can be as much of a statement as a new button down shirt!*

... Well, unless your socks are just white socks. Then your statement is "I'm lazy."

And please, PLEASE, do not try and make a case for white socks with white shoes just to spite me. Yes, you're following the "socks should match the shoes" rule, but you're also wearing white shoes, so I can only assume that you're a nurse or a senior citizen.

That's it for now! Don't say I didn't warn you about wearing those white socks out in public!

*- The "socks can make a statement" line was pretty much for girls only. Fellas, no one wants to see your socks unless you have to pull up your pant leg to show them, or unless you're playing a sport where soccer socks are appropriate. The "shorts with tube socks" look for guys fell out of style ten minutes before the first guy decided he'd go around sporting it.