Second Grader See, Second Grader Do

Cartoons were a big part of my childhood, just like they probably were for most of you who read my blog. Saturday mornings weren't for sleeping in... they were for sneaking out into the living room, turning on the TV at a low volume, and staring at Looney Toons, or Power Rangers, or the myriad other shows that had weekend morning airtime.

Yes, my attempt at drawing Bugs Bunny looks like a grey Teletubby. Moving on.

I moved to Vermont the summer before second grade, and for second grade I was put in the local public school. The private school I had attended in New York had a dress code, so I enjoyed the new-found freedom to wear what I wanted, and to not have to wear a tie. At one point, I even bought a pair of red Converse All-Star high-top sneakers.

The issue with this, of course, was that I was in second grade, and kids are mean. I had this one bully who insisted on calling me Clown Feet at recess every day. It never seriously phased me, considering he was the only one who called me that... I just found it annoying. I mean, red shoes are awesome, and my feet weren't that big, so what's the point of worrying about it?

Finally, one day at recess, this kid was incredibly persistent in trying to get me to chase after him or something. He wouldn't leave me alone and he kept yelling at me.

So, I took inspiration in the cartoons I so religiously watched. What was it that Bugs Bunny always did to Elmer Fudd to get him to leave him alone? Oh, right...

I waited until my bully got close.

... Then...

Now, I was somewhat sheltered as a child. Not "is he brainwashed?" sheltered, but sheltered enough to not understand how my plan of action was wrong or would be misconstrued as anything other than me trying to rid myself of another kid's ridicule. My bully, confused, went and told the teacher on recess duty, who asked me if I had kissed the other boy. I shrugged. She asked why I did it. I shrugged. And that was it.



Most importantly, that kid never teased me again.